Work Ethic of Champs

I honestly don't really admire anything about myself except maybe the fact that I can usually dish out a good insult. But the two things people usually tell me they admire me for is (1) sense of humor, even though I'm honestly not that funny I just tell a good story and am really mean sometimes when everyone thinks I'm joking, & (2) my work ethic. Usually the 2 don't go hand-in-hand but I guess I just make it work. Going slightly off topic for a moment, I really find studying human behavior fascinating and I do it all the time without people even knowing. From being in the classroom for quite a while I've always grouped students into categories. First of all, the kids who were super smart and it seemed natural, then the kids who were not that smart but worked really hard and would probably get pretty far in life, and then the people who were smart yet lazy, and finally the people who were just dumb and lazy. I've spent many class periods grouping kids into their categories and so on. Although this isn't the most elaborate study of human behavior or anything I did for a while think that I was the only one who could differentiate the naturally smart kids from the kids who worked really hard to do just as well.
As I've gotten older I've realized that to me, and to teacher that it's very apparent which students are which. As I was spending a torturous Chemistry period on stuff I've already learned 2 years ago, I spaced out into my mental student organization chart. I decided to put myself in a category. For starters, I've never been and never plan on being an idiot. But I'm not all too lazy either. I was on the fence as to where to place myself. I'm not stupid, but things don't come to me naturally either. I decided to ask some people and they said I was definitely the workaholic type. This is true in some ways, but mainly because of my instilled work ethic.
When I was young, my mom said I was never ever allowed to miss a day of school- no matter how sick I was. In third grade, I had the flu for a week, and went to school- everyday that week. I still am not allowed to miss school no matter how sick I get & I still get really annoyed when I sit at my desk feeling like crap and just want to be in my bed. Obviously, at some point in my life I'll just have to take a sick day but I like how people admire me as the girl who never misses school.

Dear Summer 2010...

Dear Summer 2010,

We had a good run. I had my lowest of lows and my highest of highs but it was worth it all. I'd be lying if I said there is nothing I would change but since it's not a perfect world I'll take what I got- long days at work followed by short nights of fun, many hellos to counter many goodbyes, and most of all days that brought everyone together and nights I'll always remember. I know there was a reason you dished out everything that happened and I'm still working on it but in the meantime I have 2 things to say- thanks for everything & I'll miss you.

Love,
Margo

P.S.- Tell Summer 2011 to hurry up.

R.I.P. Best friend.

This is a narrative I initially wrote for school, but I fix it and reread it every now and again and thought that I should share with the blogging world:

It loomed large in front of me. With each step I took I wanted to turn back, but I knew he wouldn't want me to. He would want me to face it bravely, courageously-like he had always taught me. With my chin held high I stepped forward on the mossy grass, and eventually reached it. It was a tombstone, his tombstone. I read the blurb on it and thought about how a few simple words didn't do justice for a man of such high stature in my heart. While glancing over the cemetery I saw a wide array of tombstones, varying in size and shape. This one was the only one to hold my attention, this one was more than a gray slab of engraved cement. Then I closed my eyes, and my memory took me back to that one night, just 6 years ago- when the man I respected most became a part of this dreadful place.

                My grandfather had been sick for a while, but each time the doctors would say 4 to 6 weeks left, he would outdo the odds. He was upright in his bed, connected to tubes and wires, but when I looked at him I pretended they weren't there. I would tell him everything about my day, because it seemed like he was the only one to care. I was never afraid to talk to him, even when I had to tell him something I knew he wouldn't like hearing- he would listen attentively, smile, and tell me that he knew I could do better next time, and then he would assure me that there would be a next time. I would beg him to tell me stories of when he was younger, and he would tell me that my youth was much more important to him. Then I would run downstairs  to help my grandmother make dinner, and me and him would eat together, even though he had to eat in his bed. And that was how I spent 2 years of my life, every day after school, and never once complained.

                Until one afternoon, I dumped my books the second after I crossed the threshold, pounded up the stairs and found my grandfather, sleeping. I knew something was wrong immediately, grandpa was always read to greet me with a smile. I burst out in tears as my grandma told me he was just taking a quick nap, but I knew she was lying- he said that he would always be waiting for me. I waited patiently for him to wake up and when he did I burst into tears again, he didn't know who I was. I told him all about my day as he just stared at me blankly. I even remember telling him something that wasn't true in hopes of a reaction, but sadly there wasn't one. I still held his hand, and helped him eat, and watched him struggle. When it came time for my mother to pick me up I threw a fit because I knew I couldn't just leave. But after an hour of hysterics it became clear I wasn't going to get my way, so I went home and made my grandma pinky swear she'd call if anything happened.

                I went home and went to sleep immediately, for it had been a long day for an eight year old. I had a nightmare, that my grandfather would pass and I'd show up too late. Then, I pounded down the hallway to my parents room and demanded they drive me to my home away from home, just 8 blocks away. Fortunately, I had gotten my way, and just as I had done hours before I dashed across the threshold, hustled up the stairs two at a time, and flung my grandfather's bedroom door open in haste. The routine changed drastically this time, I threw myself to my knees at his bedside, grasped his hands tightly, and told him all about my dream. He started to cough, the nurse demanded I leave the room but I wouldn't let my grip loosen, as I finished telling him about my horrid nightmare he managed to choke out the words, "I'll never let that happen", that's when the morphine drip started, or as I called it "death juice". He looked so peaceful in his sleep, but yet so motionless, I demanded the nurse make sure he was still alive every five minutes. That was my first all-nighter, I refused to leave my spot for many hours. As day light peaked he awoke and had a coughing fit, I demanded they let him stay awake before inducing him with more death juice. In the two hours he stayed awake he told me his plans for me, that he had perfected in his sleep, how he knew exactly what I was going to do when I grew up, and how I would never make the wrong choice with his words ringing in my ears and his teachings engraved in my heart. He told me that I was courageous to stay with him, and how he loved me more than anything. He went back to sleep and I was forced to remove myself from my position to eat and change. I came back and in a matter of hours he changed drastically. The smile he had greeted me with for so long was so weak now. He told me how important I was and how it would be impossible for me to miss him because he had made sure he would always be with me. Then, he fell back on to his headboard gasped, and froze. The nurse had to work around me and my tears because I wouldn't leave.

                Two days later at the funeral, I heard hushed tones about how my grandfather died in my arms, and how horrible that must have been. I wanted to explain to them, that I wouldn't have had it any other way, but I knew they wouldn't understand. Nobody would understand, the bond we had was one of a kind.

                My eyes opened and I found myself gripping the tombstone as I once had gripped my grandfathers hands just a mere 6 years ago. I took a deep breath, said my prayers, and told my grandfather about my life- just like I had every day of my life for two years. I heard his voice tell me how proud he was of me that I kept our tradition going, and that just because he wasn't there physically, not much had changed. I then proceeded to remove the silly flowers blocking his name, because I knew he hated flowers, just like me, and I knew he wouldn't want his grave site looking frivolous. So I turned back, and told myself once again, that grandpa was still right, and I was glad I went to visit him. I almost said "see you next time" but I didn't have to, because he is with me every day, whether I know it or not.

(No) Regrets

My friends and I, as well as many other high-schoolers you may know usually add the term "no regrets" to the end of...just about everything. One time i said it and a teacher overheard me, and he told me that he thought it was very mature of me to think of every mistake as a lesson instead of a regret. I had never really thought of it that way. To me "no regrets" was just something we all said, even if we didn't have regrets to begin with. But after hearing this teachers point of view on it I used it differently, I didn't say it any more or any less - but when I would say it I would realize the extra meaning it had and not just throw it around. Most of my mistakes/bad choices would always be blown over by a simple "no regrets" but never were to be thought of as a lesson learned.

Recently, I made a bad decision that I shocked myself with- it was just something so unlike myself that I still question what was going through my head. It was more than just a stupid mistake-I was beating myself up over it constantly. I couldn't get it out of my head no matter how many times I said "no regrets". Then I remembered what my teacher told me. I couldn't find any lessons pertaining to my mistake but that maybe there is a lesson, not about what I did but about regrets in and of itself. The lesson I found is that maybe a simple "no regrets" can't be used in every situation, lesson learned or not. This has been one of those regrets. I still think it was stupid, and I still wonder what would ever make me be so illogical and irresponsible but hopefully this regret could be kept. I wanted it to just go away like all the other dumb mistakes. But this one will probably stick with me for a long time, and I'm glad because maybe next time  I won't make such hasty and horrible decisions.

A Whole Lot of Nothing

I can't really think of anything specific to say. All I have going on right now is a whole bunch of days that I'm supposed to be doing my summer homework. But knowing myself, i do everything else in the world before I do what actually has to get done- hence, this blogpost. I am going on vacation Sunday the 22nd and am coming home Sunday the 29th. I am going to Maine and Cape Cod. I've been to both before and I hate it. I wish my family could go somewhere cool- like Jamaica or the Bahamas or Hawaii or Europe or even California. But as usual, my ideas get shutdown. So we're going back to the same dumb places we go every summer. But, whether it's the vacation I wanted or not, I still refuse to do any homework during it. So I have today, tomorrow, Friday & Saturday to do my AP outlines. I have 14 left, and a report, and I still have to read 2 books. Procrastinating is kinda my hobby. hmm...

Well another thing I've been doing instead of homework is planning a sweet 16. No, not mine sadly. Well it's not going to be anyway. I have been looking online and even keeping a book of things i find- dresses, catering halls, shoes, invitations, themes, centerpieces, tablecloths, etc. I even made up a massive invite list. I really don't know why I want one so much, but I guess planning one is the next best thing. Well now I'm going to legitimately try to do some work. Hasta la vista (=

My Makeshift To-Do list

Usually when I write down the things I have to do, basically a To-Do List- I actually get stuff done, and believe me I am a big time procrastinator with a really short attention span. Take today for example, I had so much stuff to get done- but instead I went on a long bike ride and cleaned my whole closet and desk, this may seem productive- but it wasn't what I needed to get done. I have A LOT of schoolwork for the summer. For English I have to read 2 books- A Separate Peace by John Knowles and Still Life with Rice by Helie Lee. They aren't that long, but they are really boring and I hate reading. I am also in an AP (advanced placement) Global history class- which gave a monstrous summer assignment consisting of 2 parts. The first part was to (directions from the assignment)-Directions:  Create detailed outlines that would answer a potential essay question on each of the assigned topics below.  You DO NOT need to compose the essays!!  Create and bind a booklet that is clearly labeled by unit/time frame.  .  Please number each outline as they are numbered below (i.e. 1-20). You should use the first four units of your text book to assist you in this exercise.  THESE WILL BE DUE ON THE FIRST FULL DAY OF CLASS WHEN WE RETURN IN THE FALL!  I would NOT recommend that you leave this assignment to the last minute.  Although you may wish to share ideas with friends, I would highly recommend that you do your own reading and research on each topic.  If I detect plagiarism, you will receive a “0” and possible explusion from the A.P. World History program. There are 20 different outlines that require a lot of research, detailing, and organizing. The second part of the History assignment was to read a historical book of choice and write a long response on it and about what world history surrounds the story and how it ties in with the plot. 

How much have i finished? Well, I have done 1 out of 20 outlines, and am in the middle of A Separate Peace 

so I have a lot more to do. This is now my somewhat written to-do list for the next week or so before i go on vacation. 

A little about myself...

   I'm really psyched about this new blog that I couldn't wait that long for a second post! My life isn't all too exciting, so I'm sorry if you ever end up just reading something about my day because i assure you it will probably annoy you. But instead of talking about my day, I'm going to talk about myself. I turned 15 in June and so far it's been great. I have a love/hate relationship with my family. My mom nags me on a daily basis but she means well. My dad has to be the coolest guy over 40 I've ever met, he used to be a comedian and makes me laugh constantly. I have a younger sister that I don't get along with, but hopefully that will change when she grows up. I also have a baby brother, who isn't a baby anymore, he's actually 8, but I'm in denial because I'm basically his mom. He is like my best friend and my child all in one, and I'd rather talk to and spend time with him than most people my age.
I love math, and am actually pretty good at it, I hate feet, I am a perfectionist, people often tell me i have OCD because lots of little things bother me (ex: the volume on the tv MUST be on a multiple of 5 or that i use a new toothbrush everyday). Okay the first one is a little strange, but to me the second one makes perfect sense- if I brush the bacteria out of my mouth with my toothbrush, then the next time i brush my teeth why would i want to but the same germs and grossness back into my mouth. And yes, I know you "clean your toothbrush" but you can't possibly get all the bacteria off. I have other weird quirks, but I don't want to scare people off my new blog so quickly. That's a little & some extra about me (=

Hello Bloggers (=

I've never had a blog but always have had a lot to say. Summer is almost over and in less than a month I'll be running on very little sleep and lots of caffeine. I like to write personal pieces so occasionally I'll post things that I've written for school, for myself, or for something I might later plan on publishing. Hopefully this works out and I have a blog that people enjoy reading and that I enjoy writing.